The Emperor's New Finds: FALL EDITION
Our own brave and sassy emperor of unsung treasure, takes us through another journey through the wild place that is the local Facebook marketplace (all finds shown here are, sadly, local).
THE GOODS!
Are we just going to ignore those fingers?
bet it comes with a seal of authenticity
About damned time! The 1”x1” active matrix screen on my Nokia has been unprotected since 2004!
she’s not smiling, she’s plotting your death
Because any ad that starts with “giant Amish c***ks” BEGS for a disclaimer to read further for details.
say what now?
Delayed due to COVID?!? What the Toad? My horse’s ear safety isn’t a priority?
how can you not trust this face?
do you want to tell him or shall I?
my pleasure
Sure....the last time I fell for a horse wearing a thong, I woke up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney...
crummy
nailed it.
Minecraft. riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Saddest encoded male escort ad ever.
Because Diet Code Red Mountain Dew cans are the reference standard for size in a pandemic...
Aka “Weekend project”
Pandemic Parenting Survival Gear
To be clear, they are either Medieval or they are high level evil.
1. That’s a sh*Tty price.
2. Getty images will sell ANYTHING.
Effing drunk cannibal
3 casualties of Thanos’ snap. 2 of them weren’t even wearing pants.
I’ve charged less…
To be honest, I never knew WHERE Surge came from.
this was just intentionally misleading
thanks for reading. You can read more of the Emperor’s new finds here!
campbell fisher
Inter dimensional traveler. Thrill seeker. Can’t pass up a random yard sale.